www.seattlemet.com - 2009
People of France, we are not the enemy. You know this. Yet you've torpedoed our greatest port city with a weapon most mouthwatering. So overpowering is the KOBE BEEF HAMBURGER, $14, at Voilà! Bistrot in Madison Valley, so tantalizing its juicy goodness, that our own citizenry—witness to millions of backyard barbecues in which the American burger is a totem of national pride—has come to question its loyalties. The seduction starts the moment one marches through the doorway—all-American senses scrambled by the shadow play of candlelight on mustard walls. Things get more compromising as one of your countrymen (androgynous, black-clad) pours a Kronenberg 1664 in a glass, bubbles rising to the surface like lost balloons at a carnival, and delivers the package: a toasted bun cradling a hot slab of Wagyu meat topped with caramelized onions and smothered in brie. The flavors storm the Bastille of our palate and commingle so expertly that one can hardly tell beef from bread, onion from brie, good from evil. The taste buds fire a treacherous message to the brain: Forget the Pledge of Allegiance, burn your passport, and shout, Vive la France! This burger is a violation. There should be a United Nations sanction. A call to our allies…. But first, one more bite.